Wednesday, January 18, 2012

[bad] when you know nothing

I often get criticized for being too cold, too distant, too sharp-tongued, and distrustful beyond paranoid.
All of this is true. Most of the time.

I'm not a puppy. I'm not filled with unconditional love for random strangers. I don't need constant attention and I won't beg for affection.

But I have an event horizon. Once you pass, there's no going back.
You'll know my too affectionate, too selfless, too vulnerable, too willing to do anything to make someone I care about happy side.

To the self-involved and ignorant this transformation might seem as if my feelings have evolved into something more than they really are.
What's more likely is that I finally thought I could trust you with me.

So the next one won't get a s'more after we fuck. He won't hear that I like his small hands. He won't get to see that everything he thought about me was wrong because he won't know me at all.